The roots of inner struggle

As a child, we all have suffered the roots of inner struggle like frustrations – Abandonment, neglect, rejection, humiliation, lack of love, power abuse, etc. – it could have been very subtle, it surely didn’t seem at the moment like trauma or inner struggle and looked for us “normal” back then.

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We maybe never thought of our childhood in such terms and until now we still think that everything was more or less ok with our childhood!

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The thing is that the child cant understands those feelings when they occur, he thinks everything is fine in his situation and parents behaviour, and if something is out of tune – it is he himself!

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Then the perfectionism develops. Unconsciously he thinks, he is not fine – that means, to get what he desperately needs, he needs to be perfect and he needs to be and to behave like somebody who he thinks he SHOULD BE, who won’t be rejected, abandoned, neglected, humiliated and who can get what he missed. He needs to be something he is not! Thus the false self is developed.

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Then we go through life, pursuing the goals of this self, inner struggle, motivated by its unconscious motives, feeling PRESSURE of its standards and demands, still protecting ourselves from the feelings we kept in our unconscious and keep fighting with inner struggle.

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This is the story of everybody, but with each own individual differences! everyone is passing through an inner struggle like frustrations – Abandonment, neglect, rejection, humiliation, lack of love, power abuse, etc. – it could have been very subtle, it surely didn’t seem at the moment like trauma or inner struggle and looked for us “normal” back then.

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The more I can recognize the aspects of it in myself and see where it is coming from – the more I can let go of the tension and self-criticism. More relaxation and ease flow in!